DEF CON: Schrödinger's Cat

You may have heard that DEF CON will be a hybrid conference this year (part in-person and part online) but this is only partially correct. This year's conference will actually be in a quantum state. You will only know if it is in-person or online when you participate. If you join the online event the conference will be in-person and if you attend in-person the conference will be online. Since the collapse of the wave function is unique for each observer, regardless of your choice, the conference will be cancelled for you. But, there will be a number of fun events going on, which you will miss, including:

Packet Hacking Village

Packet Hacking Village will feature Quantum communication link. The link cannot be intercepted or spoofed so your usernames and passwords can't be collected for the Wall of Sheep. But, we all know you are using crappy passwords so it really doesn't matter

Toxic Barbeque

Just don't ask what the meat is. You won't know until you take a bite. Will it be beef? Will it be chicken? Maybe you'll get a juicy chunk of long pork!

Aerospace Village

The Aerospace Village will feature a faster than light (FTL) drive. You'll be able to arrive before you leave. Finally, you'll be able to kick yourself in the ass for all the security mistakes you've made.

Car Hacking Village

As you would expect they will have a fully functional DeLorean time machine, as featured in Back to the future. Go back to 1982 and return with a trunk full of cocaine!

Lock Picking Village

All locks will be in a superposition of locked and unlocked. Only until you pick it will you know what state it is in.

Voting Village

Voting village will be demonstrating the Dominion electronic voting machines. Vote for Trump and the vote will quantum transport to a vote for Biden

Red Team Village

There will be a demonstration of exploits that can jump energy barriers, via quantum tunneling, and install themselves on even air gapped computers.

So enjoy/don't enjoy DEF CON 29. We're hoping you will/will not attend this year. Of course DEF CON 30 will be cancelled as usual, so don't even bother planning on attending.